A man's style is not limited to his wardrobe. His cologne, for example, provides an identifiable scent that can be detected by others even when the man himself cannot be seen. His dog is another example; an English Bulldog does lend some of its stylistic heir to its owner, just as a poodle would do the same... in a different way. How about a man's ride? The wheels personify the man almost as much the man's clothing. We all get in to our cars at some point, right? We wash and wax them. We spend hours detailing the inside so we have our neat and tidy roving living quarters, don't we? Men fall in love with their cars. Some modify the hell out of them to squeeze out some more horsepower. Others sweeten the looks by adding leather interiors or chrome wheels. Others... make a huge friggin' mistake. And here we address our topic!
A couple of years ago Chrysler introduced the 300; a large, attractive sedan that gave luxury cars a run for their money. The cars gained popularity quickly, appearing in films such as David Cronenberg's A History of Violence and Michael Bay's "not-too-distant" futuristic thriller The Island. They were also recognized very quickly as a car that could be "hooked-up" by adding chrome, some double-deuce rims, and... by replacing the stock front grille with an aftermarket one. Many became available. Some with wide openings and some with tightly woven mesh. And then somebody decided that since the Chrysler 300 somewhat resembled the size and shape of a Bentley, that a fake Bentley grille should be constructed for the idiot poser with deep pockets. Why? Let me tell you guys... slapping a Bentley grill on a Chrysler is (wait for it...) Just Plain Wrong (note the crafty use of the title in there)!
How dumb do you think people are? YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY WITH A BENTLEY GRILLE ON YOUR F#&KING CHRYSLER! You moron! Anyway... now I've gotten it out. Consider the ambiguously moronic example in the supplied photo. A Bentley grille is displayed, while underneath, a front licence plate clearly identifies the car as a Chrysler 300C. I don't understand... what look are you going for? That's like having both an Obama '08 bumper sticker and a Pro-Life bumper sticker on the same car. I don't get it. The style points of your car just came down exponentially. This car is smart enough looking on its own... stylish looking, even. And then you put this ridiculous grille on it? Why?
Don't get me wrong. I love the idea of putting an aftermarket grille on the 300 to personalize it a bit, but by saying it's something that it's not when it so obviously... well... is not? That's just a little tacky looking. Do you guys see my point? Do not do this. If you do, I guess I have just provided my opinion of you. This is an unforgivable and utterly stupid looking trend. Let's stop it now.
DISCLAIMER: I hope all my readers understand that I was addressing a rhetorical "you" in this post, as I am certain that none of you who own a Chrysler 300 have done this. Also, if you are an Obama supporter who is pro-life, I appologize if I have offended you, but would encourage you to avoid advertising both of these beliefs with bumper stickers on your car.
Until next time,
Cheers!
-Paul
A man's style is not limited to his wardrobe. His cologne, for example, provides an identifiable scent that can be detected by others even when the man himself cannot be seen. His dog is another example; an English Bulldog does lend some of its stylistic heir to its owner, just as a poodle would do the same... in a different way. How about a man's ride? The wheels personify the man almost as much the man's clothing. We all get in to our cars at some point, right? We wash and wax them. We spend hours detailing the inside so we have our neat and tidy roving living quarters, don't we? Men fall in love with their cars. Some modify the hell out of them to squeeze out some more horsepower. Others sweeten the looks by adding leather interiors or chrome wheels. Others... make a huge friggin' mistake. And here we address our topic!
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